An Anatomy of Black Father and Son Relationships
By
Charles E. Campbell, LSW, MSW
A Black Father Definition: This is a Black man who constantly gives his children advice and tells them of his mistakes in order to help them be better men and women. This is a black man who sticks by his children although they may not always take his advice and end up in trouble. (Definition is From the Urban Dictionary)
A Black Father is much more. Black men and their sons should have a strong relationship. We want to produce a carbon copy of ourselves. Without sufficient planning father- son relationship start to go wrong. Having a son is an awesome responsibility. It takes money, time, patients and love. In order to get money for all his son’s needs, he first must have an education or some skill to earn a living. Without adequate skills, his opportunities are limited and criminal behavior becomes an option, justified by the need to take care of his responsibilities. If he is too young to be a father, then he will not spend much time with his son, except to show him off to his friends on occasion. When a son is born they demand that a father spend time with them. Without and adequate bonding between father and son, the father feels no obligation to his son and can abandon him without much thought or care. This is a devastating moment of rejection and will produce an anger, resentful son and who need to feel loved by a father. Black boys who group without a father have greater chances of falling in there pitfalls of drugs, crime and teen pregnancy. He has a need to proved that he is much more of a man than his father ever was or will be, without understanding the pressures that led the his father abandoning him. Thus the cycle continues when he leaves his own son and justifies it by walking away.
It is our responsibility to raise our young boys to become responsible men. It is impossible for young boy to become something that he is never seen or interacted with in any meaningful way. How can they become strong Black men, if they know none. Black men on TV and the pros don't count. Being a black father takes a lot of patience. It is not easy to raise a Blacks son, especially when they reached the ages of 14 through 17. They will assert their independence, challenge your authority and break your rules. But if you could show them love and discipline they will be successful in life. This is the hardest part for Black Fathers raising sons in the 21st century. We as Black men are under attack by this system and our sons under attack by the same system. They are being Mis-educated and prepared for incarceration. We must show them the way and lead by example. We must learn to educate them, employ them, nurture them and support their dream.
Here's how we do that. In every town and city where black men exist we must come together and have one place where we set aside one day of the month. Let's call it Third Saturday. On that day, every church, Fraternity, Black professional organization and Black men will pool their dollars and bring Black boys to a specific location and engage them in education, sports, entertainment, fun and empowerment. We will provide them with breakfast and lunch. We will group them by their dreams and aspirations with Black men involved in those professions. For example, all Black boys, wanting to play professional sports will be linked with formal athletes. The goal is to have First Thursday become just as popular as First Fridays, but with the different purpose. We are failing our Black Boys as Black men and we must do more. We are their role models, their protectors, the greatest cheer leaders. They are our present and our future.
Each Black man in that community will voluntarily contribute $10 per month for the purpose of funding Third Saturday, whether they have boys or not. Every community should set a goal of 50 to 100 Black men contributors. The goal is to raise between ten and fifteen thousand dollars each year. Those funds would be used to purchase land, equipment and to pay for activities that the boys participate in. Where there is the will, there is the way, but when there is no will, there are excuses. If Black men are not satisfied with the condition and status of Black Boys, but hear this call to action. This can be done without any federal, state, county or city funds. At some point we must stand up and be leaders, which mean getting it up off our knees and stop begging other people for money to do that which we know needs to be done for ourselves. If Black men are on their knees begging, they why do we to tell Black Boys to stop sagging. Both behaviors are inappropriate and leave a negative image of Black men and Black boys in the minds of others.
By
Charles E. Campbell, LSW, MSW
A Black Father Definition: This is a Black man who constantly gives his children advice and tells them of his mistakes in order to help them be better men and women. This is a black man who sticks by his children although they may not always take his advice and end up in trouble. (Definition is From the Urban Dictionary)
A Black Father is much more. Black men and their sons should have a strong relationship. We want to produce a carbon copy of ourselves. Without sufficient planning father- son relationship start to go wrong. Having a son is an awesome responsibility. It takes money, time, patients and love. In order to get money for all his son’s needs, he first must have an education or some skill to earn a living. Without adequate skills, his opportunities are limited and criminal behavior becomes an option, justified by the need to take care of his responsibilities. If he is too young to be a father, then he will not spend much time with his son, except to show him off to his friends on occasion. When a son is born they demand that a father spend time with them. Without and adequate bonding between father and son, the father feels no obligation to his son and can abandon him without much thought or care. This is a devastating moment of rejection and will produce an anger, resentful son and who need to feel loved by a father. Black boys who group without a father have greater chances of falling in there pitfalls of drugs, crime and teen pregnancy. He has a need to proved that he is much more of a man than his father ever was or will be, without understanding the pressures that led the his father abandoning him. Thus the cycle continues when he leaves his own son and justifies it by walking away.
It is our responsibility to raise our young boys to become responsible men. It is impossible for young boy to become something that he is never seen or interacted with in any meaningful way. How can they become strong Black men, if they know none. Black men on TV and the pros don't count. Being a black father takes a lot of patience. It is not easy to raise a Blacks son, especially when they reached the ages of 14 through 17. They will assert their independence, challenge your authority and break your rules. But if you could show them love and discipline they will be successful in life. This is the hardest part for Black Fathers raising sons in the 21st century. We as Black men are under attack by this system and our sons under attack by the same system. They are being Mis-educated and prepared for incarceration. We must show them the way and lead by example. We must learn to educate them, employ them, nurture them and support their dream.
Here's how we do that. In every town and city where black men exist we must come together and have one place where we set aside one day of the month. Let's call it Third Saturday. On that day, every church, Fraternity, Black professional organization and Black men will pool their dollars and bring Black boys to a specific location and engage them in education, sports, entertainment, fun and empowerment. We will provide them with breakfast and lunch. We will group them by their dreams and aspirations with Black men involved in those professions. For example, all Black boys, wanting to play professional sports will be linked with formal athletes. The goal is to have First Thursday become just as popular as First Fridays, but with the different purpose. We are failing our Black Boys as Black men and we must do more. We are their role models, their protectors, the greatest cheer leaders. They are our present and our future.
Each Black man in that community will voluntarily contribute $10 per month for the purpose of funding Third Saturday, whether they have boys or not. Every community should set a goal of 50 to 100 Black men contributors. The goal is to raise between ten and fifteen thousand dollars each year. Those funds would be used to purchase land, equipment and to pay for activities that the boys participate in. Where there is the will, there is the way, but when there is no will, there are excuses. If Black men are not satisfied with the condition and status of Black Boys, but hear this call to action. This can be done without any federal, state, county or city funds. At some point we must stand up and be leaders, which mean getting it up off our knees and stop begging other people for money to do that which we know needs to be done for ourselves. If Black men are on their knees begging, they why do we to tell Black Boys to stop sagging. Both behaviors are inappropriate and leave a negative image of Black men and Black boys in the minds of others.
1 Black Afrikan Man Opinion (1BAMO)
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2 comments:
What about the Black men who leave the Black mothers because of commitment issues? You want the child but no commitment to family,what message do you think that sends?
I think it's great (1BAMO)for Blackmen everywhere to start planning weekend around our young blackmen and sons. And to (The Love Child) it never a good thing for any man to leave his woman or wife when there commitment like marriage and fatherhood.
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